STEPS TOWARDS AUTISTIC UNMASKING

How to begin to unmask, to begin to end the pretence of normality, to begin to integrate being autistic, to try to be you and not what others directly or indirectly require or demand you to be?

First, I am already looking UP to you if you choose this natural restorative pro-autistic pathway.

And yes, there are social and other costs along the way to dropping the mask - but nothing compared with the price of continuing to mask.

Therefore we might choose:
- to begin to recognise what is masking - make notes
- alternative strategizing to manage each act of masking
- deploying the critical word "No!" more often
- identifying what we suppressed ... and resurrecting it
- practicing assertiveness - perhaps with a model in mind
- being prepped with info for those who query your authenticity
- identifying autistic strengths and acuities ... and using them
- buying what you need to accommodate autistic sensitivities
- being as out, loud, proud as we can manage
- learning about prioception and interoception - greater sensing
- communicating more directly, bluntly
- seeking out autistic community by all means
- learning about 'spoon theory' and its impact on our lives
- challenging internalised ableism and stigmas
- reflecting on what agency and authenticity really mean
- stimming

We get but one life,
a life not to blow
in some 3rd rate charade.

I recognise the many and varied challenges huge numbers of autistics have in even starting to peel away the mask, the risks involved, the complications, the lack of supports.  And the extra risks for people of colour and multiple marginalities... the risk from tyrants and law enforcement, teachers and administrators.

I am not pressuring you, as such, just standing side-by-side, mute, but presenting optional typed advice.  I know some will never make the transition, and more never fully.

But should anyone need encouragement, masking is:
- missing out on who you really are
- an exhausting act, pretence, falsification
- a poor misled strategy, not a rich way of being
- camouflaging self, hiding self
- a societally-imposed non-solution to divergence
- a survival strategy gone awry, one that does not deliver
- a indefinable barrier between you and all others
- a serious life-complexity that all autistics could do without
- creator of much stress, confusion, anxiety, depression, disorder
- a conscious/unconscious suppression of natural autistic response
- the unwarranted letting-down of your autistic self-defence shield
- a blending-in when you were made to stand out
- a wholesale negation of gifts, talents, attributes.

Some people mask because of understandable, but eventually illogical and harmful reasons:
- they have been brought up to do so
- they know no other strategy
- they don't want their kids taken away from them
- they live in societies that would think them crazy
- they do not wish to attract bullies and harmful people
- they want to avoid stigma
- they want to 'succeed' in the workplace
- they want to attract a partner
- they want to be like others, not like themself
- they want to fit in, fade, or belong.

One drop of the real you
is infinitely better
than all of the 'normalized' you ...
and you may already have glimpsed this.

Some questions you may wish to comment on:

Question 1:  What challenges have you experienced in unmasking?

Question 2: What other steps have you taken to unmask that others might think about?

Question 3: What are the most significant gains you have experienced from unmasking efforts?