Autistics and RSD Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Autistics are practically famous for their mix of what SEEMS like less common sensitivities and less common INsensitivities, even on/off sensitivities that are inexplicable to those not LIVING the sensitivity profile themself.

Do not attempt to take all this in, in one day, please.  It is asking a lot of you comprehension-wise, theme-wise.

----- sensitivities

In the mix, among auditory sensitivities, demand sensitivities, and food sensitivities, etc., can lie rejection sensitivity that goes so far as to become dysphoric.

----- definition

Dysphoria, in a way the opposite of Euphoria, is explained as a profound state of unease, anxiety, or discontent that can also leave a person experiencing it with significant or mounting levels of angst, exhaustion, immobility, pre-catatonia/catatonia, or ideation, though for most it typically means "I don't want to BE me AS I am right now having experienced what I just experienced".

----- professional help

But these are only early steps. Long-term, with professional help (not easy to access but start asking now) and better relationships, you may develop ways of processing, managing, and healing feelings so that at least they are less overwhelming, catastrophic to your precious way of being, you.  RSD is not amenable to drugs or complex therapies because ... it is communicating response to a trigger or series of triggers.  It needs to be heard.  The triggers must, as much as possible, go.  Good needs to come or be admitted in place of the triggers.

----- psychosocial distress

The too common experience of social rejection experienced by autistics due to a mismatch of ways of being, majority versus minority, two differing social skill sets, is not our FAULT, not autism's fault, but it is our REALITY - do not allow any others to put on you blame or responsibility for your serious social and psychosocial distress.  There is only so far you can contribute to repair, acceptance.  That is why I do not recommend CBT/DBT, both of which have their roots in ABA, in normalisation that kills the rationale for a person existing as different, good-different.

It is not hard to see why Autistics are so keen on Acceptance as a beginning to better lives.  That's where the state of play is... others should accept you.

----- no way to live

Walking on eggshells, hopelessly trying to read between non-autistic lines, never knowing what is real or just words, anticipating criticism or rejection in almost every interaction, magnifying hurts or possible hurts via worry and overthinking, is no way to live.

----- you deserve

You deserve good relationships, acceptance and healthy attachments, pro-autistic and pro-RSD (both neurodivergencies) environments and people.  Somewhere between a quarter and over a half of autistics are either with you, or will be, or should be, having experienced for a shorter or greater time what you now also face, largely alone, unnecessarily alone.

----- feelings

Some of the things people with Dysphoria might feel are included in this: 'I feel frustration, irritability, thwarted, adriftness, fatigue, apathy, let-down, sad, uneasy, worried, fearful, hopeless ... I feel a need to perseverate, to achieve perfection, to arrive at justice, to find haven.' To instead internalize rejection, is to arrive at depression.  Zero solution there.

----- the shape of us

Life's impacts can change the shape of HOW We Are Who We Are.  If in your life, part of you has changed shaped because of what happened to you, then that shape isn't abnormal like most people might automatically think, in fact it is normal, e.g. normal to have a sensitivity because of what happened.  Not easy.  But normal.

If something happened and there was no impact, then THAT would be abnormal.  The rawness, or sensitivity, is there for a reason.  It is a normal communication, an important communication from you, to you.

----- talk helps many

Unsurprisingly, as Talk Therapy is the leading recommended response.  Autistics may be significantly less likely to have another to talk to, to enable stuck messages that are not fully understood in the brain to pass on to the neatly learnt-from and filed away sections of our mind. Exploring lesser helps from Talkspace, BetterHelp, and ReGain may assist, despite their obvious limitations. Apps for RSD like Daylio may assist in pre-identifying upcoming triggers, etc. Journaling helps many.  Posting updates on social media helps others.  A certain mirroring, reflection, untangling goes on in all of this, and it can help, even resolve.

----- re-choosing helps many

If you have always looked for friendship from people compatible with you (e.g. autistics) or always from those complimentary to you (e.g. very social people), it might be time to challenge your choice and the basis for your choice, or to spread your attention further, radicalize choices. Loyal, reflective, calming might be what you seek - but be mindful of what you have to offer in return, including your sensitivity, which is 'a normal', not an 'abnormal', a good thing in one important enduring sense.

----- rut identification helps some

Increasingly being alert to getting stuck in ruts means you have more opportunity to forgo routines, rituals, rules, regulations, all the R's, that can be such an ease at times, but also a trap at others.  If you always stay only long enough to get a book at a library, then purposefully choose to read part of it while there occasionally.  Sometimes breaking habits can seem like poking a stick into the wheels of a bicycle wheel, but sometimes breaking habits can be dropping some rocks into a rut so your wheel can get out and run free.

----- identification can attract empathy

Be 'out' about RSD if you possibly can. "I have RSD and a special interest in hanging with others who experience the same right now - where are my peeps!".  In neurodivergent circles there should be little stigma encountered - let an Admin know if that isn't so.

----- what is unlikely to help

If you access unlearned non-autistics or ridiculous AI to find out what to do about RSD, I assure you that all their 10 step suggestions, or whatever, will completely miss the point by a small to great margin.  Non-autistics should practice empathy and AI should stick to spotting triggers, warning you of the approach of dysphoric episodes of intensity... both should stay in their lane.

----- further reading helps some

Many Things go into make an Autistic RSD

https://theunmaskedautistic.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-its-connection-to-autism/

Empathy For You

https://reframingautism.org.au/the-unbearable-heartache-of-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria/

The Awfulness of Awareness

https://autisticphd.com/theblog/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd-with-autism-or-adhd/

Silencing the Inner Critic

https://www.autisticteacher.co.uk/post/rejection-sensitivity-dysphoria-in-adhd-and-autistic-people

----- disclaimer

Eeeeep, I am not a health professional and there is no substitute for such advice and assistance, really. Dysphoria exceeding two weeks in duration requires professional care. I can only cover a narrow spectrum of what a caring lay person with some experience might have to offer that circles around such considerable and well-backed advice and assistance a good health professional might offer, hoping to at the very least not make matters worse for you.