Autistics and Unlearning

I am autistic.

But before I can properly begin living my life fully, autistically,

THERE ARE THINGS I SEEK TO UNLEARN

1. Masking - camouflage, suppress stims

2. Self-Silencing - voice my voice, have my say, express myself as an autistic authentically, using my chosen unvarnished raw words or other means of expressing, communicating, manifesting. I will not go silent to avoid conflict.

3. Hiding - I do not have to hide being autistic, do denial, make excuses for who I am and how I am, keep my passions to myself, make like a non-obstacle to others.

4. Unacceptance - I do not have to wait patiently for acceptance or validation, till others feel ready. I can demand this, just as so many demands have been placed on me, so many I have sacrificed for one-sidedly.  I will end all self-ableism.

5. Passiveness - Assertiveness is the goal, plainly and firmly stating who I am, what I need, where I am going, no matter what.

6. Inequality - breaking my back to fit in, blend in, accommodate others, take in their viewpoint, empathise, while little to nothing flows back to me where I am.  I will be equal and I will have agency in and over my life.

7. Self-criticism - It will no longer be my cause of overthinking, my self-consciousness, my catastrophization, my anxiety, my pre-emptive duty, my torture to take responsibility for how you think about me or see me.

8. Loneliness - I will no longer equate being alone, in solitude, with being lonely, unwanted, left out, or put aside... when I want to be alone I will strive for that serenely.

9. Cureism - I will no longer entertain thoughts that some action or substance or person can cure me of being autistic, or allow such appalling talk in my earshot.

10. Authority - I will no longer believe that people who are not autistic have most of the valid advice to offer, or that it is advice that somehow outranks that I have to share with them, or other autistics kindly extend to me.

11. Unsupportable - I will no longer believe that I unworthy or less worthy of support while societally I am disabled, excluded, dismissed, and discounted. I will not pretend I am fine.

12. Late - I will no longer believe it is too late for me to have a better life or a good life because of past damage inflicted on me by people and systems that did nothing to account for me being different.

13. Hopelessness - I will no longer believe that I as an autistic cannot naturally ally in our own differing ways with other autistics, other disabled folk, and change the way the world is to me and those who share my perspectives.

14. Conform - I will put away the concepts of uniformity and conformity, the idea society is stronger when my needs and wishes, my expressions and preferences, are crushed, ignored, hidden.

15. Boundaries - I will no longer ignore my own boundaries, need for space, for special environmental needs, accesses and accommodations.

Unlearning is learning also.  It leads to the greatest things we can learn.